Most people think flirting is one thing: seductive, sexy, maybe a little bold.

But that’s only one style of flirting. And for many people, it’s the least natural.

Flirting isn’t a test you pass or fail. It’s a social skill. And like any skill, we all start out as bumbling beginners.

But… it still feels awkward / weird / uncomfortable.

Perhaps you, too, feel like flirting is something other people do, especially if it’s been a while since you last dated anyone.

Part of the problem was my definition.

Does dating ever leave you spiraling: stuck in your head, overthinking a text, or wondering what that look meant?

Ever wonder why some dates seem to go nowhere, despite your best efforts? Or why someone you thought was “just okay” at first becomes attractive after a few interactions?

There’s a popular idea in modern dating that being sex-positive, confident, and open-minded means sleeping together early — even on the first or second date — is not a big deal.

So, you went on a date, thought it went well, and then... nothing. No second date. Maybe they politely declined. Maybe they ghosted. Or maybe you got unmatched after expressing interest.

You may have heard the advice: “You have to be a whole person before you can be in a relationship.”

It’s usually delivered with the confidence of a universal truth (like the kind of advice that sounds deep, but rarely gets examined).

Maybe they were attentive over text and made plans regularly, but deeper conversations never really happened.

Have you ever felt close to someone, but emotionally “out of sync”?

Unfortunately, it’s one of those things you often don’t notice until you’re doing more than your share — or feeling the strain when no one is.