The Benefit of Low-Stakes Interactions with Strangers
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Growing up in the 80s and 90s, “stranger danger” was drilled into us.
Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t smile at them. Don’t even make eye contact.
Why? Well, duh: They’re all invitations to kidnapping.
I remember hiking with friends, and one social-butterfly type would say hi to everyone we passed. At first, I thought it was pointless. Or maybe a way to assert dominance…?
Anyway, at some point, I realized it was … nice.
It’s nice to smile and have someone smile back. For no reason other than we’re two strangers doing the same thing and acknowledging each other’s existence for a second.
Even better was there was no need to do small talk, be impressive, or look attractive (who wears nice clothes, makeup, or jewelry on a hike??).
A simple smile or hello on the trail can be a surprisingly powerful interaction.
That’s the beauty of low-stakes interactions: they remind you what confidence really is — not being overly concerned with the outcome. And if you’ve ever said hi to a stranger in passing, you already know how to practice it.
So how do you carry that skill into higher-stakes situations, like dating or making new friends?
Think about the last thing you did for the first time (thanks, Darius Rucker). Maybe it was surfing, pickleball, salsa dancing, learning a language, or traveling alone.
I’ve had a number of people tell me that dating and making friends is phenomenally easier while traveling compared to doing that back at home. Why is that?
Well, if you’ve gotten this far, you know why.
Because they’re not fixated on impressing anyone — they’re just focused on enjoying, learning, improving.
Treat more “serious” interactions the way you treat those fleeting ones. Smile, connect for a moment, and let the outcome be secondary.
What if dating back home felt more like those low-stakes smiles on the hiking trail?
